Indeed, I’m currently not feeling well. I mean “holistically” not feeling well. Err…not really holistic actually.
I’m sick:
Physically – I’m extremely exhausted now
Mentally – I’m stressed with assignments and exam
Emotionally – I’m sick with all the people around me! (not all la…)
Speaking of being EMOTIONALLY SICK, I was not in a good mood this morning when I entered the class (lecture room). My day was “ruined” by certain people who gave me a certain look. Put yourself in my shoes and how would you feel If you’re actually enthusiastic to enter the class and all of a sudden, this “moron” gave you a cynical look. Hello…it was early in the morning and I just can’t understand it.
I do believe if you’re having a bad day, you shouldn’t obviously reveal it and let the whole world know that you’re not in a good mood. At least, you can just keep silent and do you own thing. Don’t drag other people into your problem! I just hate it when people do such thing.
Frankly speaking, I started to lose my sense-of-belonging to my group (in IPBL). People tend to look down upon me and even trying their best to make me feel bad of myself. WTF! Hey…what is your problem? Are you feeling intimidated by me… because I do believe people who try to bring someone down are actually in the “insecure-zone” rather than in their “comfort-zone”.
I’m sick of trying to be ‘part of the group’ and putting a certain façade which makes me feel uncomfortable. It is just not me! I am what I am. So, if you don’t like me then I don’t give it a damn. Excuse me if I did anything wrong. Like what people always say, “People tend to make mistake”. Yes…I do agree with that but at least you should’ve told me about my mistakes. I’m open with criticism (in a good way of course!)
I remembered what my best friend told me before I left for Kuching.
“Steve, campus life is really tough. You need to have the strength…physical and emotional to endure all the challenges. It is not easy especially when you have nobody there to listen to your problems. My advice…pray to God and ask for His blessings.”
Thank you best friend. I will keep those words with me…
Oh gosh…I miss my REAL friends…I’m sick with all the FAKE friends.
